Nearing the 3rd month of the year...

It's already ALMOST March. That is crazy. I can remember when I was 8 years old and thinking my 9th birthday would never make it. I can remember waiting for my 16th birthday. It was almost like.. hmm pure torture! Now, they are making kids wait till 17 to get their drivers license. To some extent I'm glad, to the other it's like WOW Glad that wasn't me!! haha...

 Ok on to my weight loss, or lack there of. I haven't been to honest with my body... Today or, later tonight.. more like in the morning. I'm going to to the store, and buying the proper items to start losing weight. Mainly being veggies, lean meats, whole grains. I'm also going to buy the right stuff to make some bread eventually. Although I've bought bread for the next month already.
 
 So, my goals for March

•  stop drinking soda
• cut down on sugar in tea
• lower calorie intake
• up gym visits

 All, really should be rather hard for me! Since, I love my Dr pepper... I make every excuse in the book NOT to go to the gym, and I love my tea sweet.. Which screws the lower calorie intake!!

 The reason for all of this. I want to have more kids, and have time and enjoy the one I have now! I love my son, and he's my rock! Speaking of he's sawing logs. He's kind of sick today. Snotty nose, it's that time of year. Back and forth from cold, to warm spring like weather. Anyways!

 Talk to you sooon

February 12th 2012

So close to Valentines day. My husband and I really don't have anything planned. We typically don't do anything for valentines day, due to the fact we typically don't have the money to go and do anything. My son and my husband always find some way at home, to surprise me, and show me they care. This year we are having a valentines party the weekend after. We are inviting my nieces over to have cupcakes, and food! We really enjoy family. We are wanting to have more kids.. We would LOVE to become pregnant come December. We will see though. I want to lose 110 lbs before we get pregnant. I'm still at 365.. So -110 I would be 255. Maybe even more! We will see.. That being said, I have to get on this! I need to start NOW. I had applied for the Extreme makeover weight loss edition. I didn't get a call back, but that is ok! My life isn't stopped due to that. It will start now!

Feelings of failing..

 I was looking through the new time line thing facebook is doing. I was looking at another persons profile. Someone who is suppose to be rather close to me. I noticed they didn't have a single picture of me, or my son. I know that it shouldn't matter, but it kind of hurts my little feelers! I should forgive them and move on. I guess I have, Just I should not revisit the past.
 I started having this sinking feeling of failure. I feel like I'm failing at everything- School, bills, house work, life, my weight loss, raising my son, being a good person.. and so on.. Even though I'm really not failing anything. I feel like I'm not putting 100% in on what I should be doing. I feel like I'm not as loving to my son as I should be. I spend so much time correcting him, I feel like a bad mom! I feel like.. I don't know what.. :( I love my son, he's my world. I guess, sometimes I like having me time, and It makes me feel bad. I don't really know why! Maybe because I don't do enough HIM time. I pray God guides me to raising this little boy up the right way. God knows I need that help.  So, I'm posting a prayer...



  Dear Heavenly Father,

  I come to you tonight, with something laying on my heart. I don't really know what it is, but you do. I pray Lord that you take whatever this is, and make it right. Who ever I am suppose to pray for Lord. Guide me in this prayer. Thank you, Thank you for the healing, and the understanding. Lord you know who needs the prayer so I lift them up in your name.. I accept the blessing and healing in their name thank you Jesus..
Amen!