Life changes!

 I haven't wrote it sometime. A few new developments have happened in our life! Some are exciting and some are crazy!!

    First off, I'm PREGNANT! I'm due Feb. 20th 2013! We got pregnant, without any medical intervention. It was a HUGE surprise. We had tried for 3 years , without any catches. We had two miscarriages.
 One of the first things that comes to mind, is my weight. I was beyond terrified of my weight. I was weighing around 378, when we became pregnant. I went to my first doctors appointment, and confirmed what I already knew, and had a previous OBGYN tell me. I had PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome). It affects people differently. Mine caused massive bad cramping during my period, and when I ovulated.
 So, When we had been trying to get pregnant.. I tracked when we thought I would ovulate. Well comes to find out. I ovulate LATE! I do not ovulate on my 28th day, or however it goes. So please, if you too are trying to get pregnant, and you keep trying around your ovulation date.. Don't skip other times!
  Well I was around 4 weeks along, and for whatever reason I KNEW I was pregnant. So, I went and got a 98cent pregnancy test from Walmart. Took it, and before time was up my positive was bright as day! This was 2am. My husband had to work the next day, and he was snoring in the bedroom. I ran jumped on the bed and said " LOOK WE ARE PREGNANT!!!". He was happy, and excited and I asked him the next day if he remembered. He said yes! LOL I of course called, and text everyone I could the next day, and blasted it in facebook. It was something to be happy about. Then, I stopped and worried till I hit my second trimester. I knew a miscarriage was possible  I was afraid, and very scared. I stayed in bed with morning sickness a lot. I was constantly sick, or not feeling well.
 My first real appointment I was 5 weeks 6 days a long. The doctor checked me over and drew blood. Well two weeks later they call and want me to attend a Gestational Diabetes class.. I was NOT happy. I waited two more weeks.. so I was 10 weeks along before they started me in on my diet. The first week was just diet controlled, and they didn't feel I could keep it down by diet. They started me on 1000mg of Metformin a day. Later, they started me on Humalin N, 10U at bedtime. I'm still only on 10U. I am however at 2000mg Met. I would rather take it then anything!. I've ALSO lost weight 25lbs to date. I'm down to 350! which is great. Baby is growing beyond great and we are happy!!

       By the way baby is a GIRL! We have our perfect little family.. :)
 If you have any questions please contact me!

My commitment..

 I wonder sometimes where or IF I have the motivation to actually do something about my weight. Recently I've decided that it is time to take my weight into my own hands, and start figuring out why I am overweight. What emotional issues do I have that are causing me to keep my weight on? I really have no desire to be over weight. I also don't have a lot of desire to put forth the super effort to lose the weight.. On the other hand I'm Psyched to get on a diet?? What in the world!
 I've started researching vitamins, minerals, and teas to see what are important to the funcation of MY body. So far so good. I've found a lot of my vitamins at puritans pride and they are cheap enough to buy them without much to spend! I'm very glad.
 I suggest any of ya'll look at your multivitamins and make sure your taking the right amount. If your not taking any, you need to. Our foods are not jam packed with vitamins like they was 60 years ago. If you think you eat healthy, and get all your vitamins that way.. I think you should do some research of your own. Vitamins are very important. When you have things happen, say skin conditions, or anything of that nature. It could be a vitamins inefficiency...

OH the pain!

 Today was GREAT. We went to the Apache Rattlesnake Festival. It's a yearly thing they have. They have vendors of all kinds there. From purses, toys, to food vendors. It's a family thing! We all go. It's a blast as well. Serious walking. It's fun for the kids and everyone. We ate an Indian Taco, for anyone who hasn't a clue what that is.. LOL it's fry bread with taco toppings really, add beans and your done. I ate most of it. I was HUNGRY!! Anyways. more to come later!

A month of Mondays..

Me wearing an 18W, smallest ever!

 I can remember before my lap-band, always starting a diet on "Monday". My grandmother someone I love dearly has always been my biggest cheerleader. She also has been my biggest help with diet "stuff". I say that because if it's a new diet, she will buy it for herself, so she says.. Give it to me to TRY before she tries it..My grandmother is 80 years old, and 5 lbs over her HER! Ideal weight LOL.. Not the doctors.. The doctors think she is at a fine weight.. Not heavy, not thin so if she gets sick she has some fat to deal with. I've been on every diet A-Z, Atkins-Zone.. I've tried Jenny Craig, weight watchers, diet pills, and diet "coffee". I must say even though it didn't work, the diet coffee was my favorite lol. I had some luck with most of these diets. No sticking weight loss though. My biggest weight loss was either low-carb, or a diet pill called Redux. I lost 50 lbs in 2 months with that pill. My mother took me off of it, she said it worked great but that was to much weight to lose in 2 months. She was right, I've crashed dieted. I've know I've messed my metabolism up. So, when I got my lap-band and I lost weight and was doing great I was beyond excited. I'm still happy and excited, I just don't remember the road to get there.. So I found a website after a search and It came up with information that is helping me get back to what I should be doing! Which is eat my protein first, then veggies, then If I have room grains of carbs of some sort. Now, I don't know that I've explained the band before so here I go. The lap-band is a silicone band they put around the top of your stomach and they latch it in there. They do a few stitches so it will stay in place. The also place a port, on the left side of your body. This port is connected to the band. This is the way they "fill" the band. The fill tightens the balloon like band up around the top of your stomach creating a smaller opening, making you full faster and longer. The longer it takes the food to go through the fuller you are for longer. Helping slow you down and lose the weight. If you eat right, you get your veggies, proteins, carbs, fruit and good fats and stuff in. When I had the surgery in 2006, I was never taught the proper banded diet. I never seen a nutritionist, so I was on a losing battle. My diet consisted of whatever I could eat in smaller portions. So when I got pregnant, and they unfilled my band so I could eat more I ate more...not the right stuff either. So, as I gained my weight back, and drank with my meals which is the biggest no no with the band, or ONE of the biggest no nos with the band. I cheated it.. Now, I'm dealing with the fact I know how to cheat my band, but I do not want to cheat my band! :) So, it's a fight between good and evil, and Good will prevail, it will just take me some time to get back to my old self! So I'm ready, are you? I'm not wanting to be a skinny minnie. I want to be healthy, and have my husband not worry about my health.. I also have him to worry about.. :)

My battle..

My battle with my weight has been a lifelong situation. Recently, I've decided that without my full attention almost, it will not go anywhere. I wake up and half way do my diet. I half way do anything now a days. I'm so tired. It's almost harder for me to work out, then to just not eat. Today has been fairly good! I've also been counting calories and I'm over just a tad not a lot! Which for me is still better then being over A LOT! Tomorrow I'm doing some spring cleaning. I have to get my treadmill uncovered so I can start walking on it. I also have a gym membership I suppose I need to start using! I really want to get my son into sports soon. There is t-ball starting and I want to get him into that! Something I will look forward to taking him to local games. I think he would enjoy it as well.. He also has a desire to play soccer so.. That may come next! I would really like to get him into a school that offers tball though.. Anyways.. thank you for reading!

It's a wet one today!

 It sure is wet here in Oklahoma. We have had some storms blow through with some massive rain and lightning! Dallas area got hit REALLY bad! Praying for all effected by the storms aftermath!

   So today I took a trip to the store. I grabbed some pretty good deals. I bought some yoplait greek yogurt with x2 the protein. I love greek yogurt. It's thicker, and creamier then the regular. Anyways enough about me!

Weight watchers and the Lap-band

I'm not really sure on how to combined the two. I know that I have fallin away from how to properly eat with my lap-band. I was considering another surgery. I'm not against it, but I feel like a failure if I go on with it. The only surgery I want in the next 3 years is a C-section to have me another baby! So, I'm going to start WW's full force and eat right with my lap-band. I know some things I have to break habits of. One of which is staying up way to late at night! It's almost 1 am, and I am going to go lay down and get up early in the AM and do my walking on my treadmill!
I will post tomorrow for sure!!

April, already?

 So March has came and gone. We have had a WET march. Which for Oklahoma is great right now. Last year about this time we had started on one of the worst droughts in Oklahoma history, since the dust bowl.
  On to the weight loss. No weight loss as of recent. I started back to Weight Watchers recently. I feel like the cycle will never break. I am how ever going to do some cleaning tomorrow in my kitchen/house. I feel like If I de clutter my home and get my treadmill back out ready to use it might, make this easier!! I hope so!!
 So, I will be posting more as I go..Please don't forget me!

Nearing the 3rd month of the year...

It's already ALMOST March. That is crazy. I can remember when I was 8 years old and thinking my 9th birthday would never make it. I can remember waiting for my 16th birthday. It was almost like.. hmm pure torture! Now, they are making kids wait till 17 to get their drivers license. To some extent I'm glad, to the other it's like WOW Glad that wasn't me!! haha...

 Ok on to my weight loss, or lack there of. I haven't been to honest with my body... Today or, later tonight.. more like in the morning. I'm going to to the store, and buying the proper items to start losing weight. Mainly being veggies, lean meats, whole grains. I'm also going to buy the right stuff to make some bread eventually. Although I've bought bread for the next month already.
 
 So, my goals for March

•  stop drinking soda
• cut down on sugar in tea
• lower calorie intake
• up gym visits

 All, really should be rather hard for me! Since, I love my Dr pepper... I make every excuse in the book NOT to go to the gym, and I love my tea sweet.. Which screws the lower calorie intake!!

 The reason for all of this. I want to have more kids, and have time and enjoy the one I have now! I love my son, and he's my rock! Speaking of he's sawing logs. He's kind of sick today. Snotty nose, it's that time of year. Back and forth from cold, to warm spring like weather. Anyways!

 Talk to you sooon

February 12th 2012

So close to Valentines day. My husband and I really don't have anything planned. We typically don't do anything for valentines day, due to the fact we typically don't have the money to go and do anything. My son and my husband always find some way at home, to surprise me, and show me they care. This year we are having a valentines party the weekend after. We are inviting my nieces over to have cupcakes, and food! We really enjoy family. We are wanting to have more kids.. We would LOVE to become pregnant come December. We will see though. I want to lose 110 lbs before we get pregnant. I'm still at 365.. So -110 I would be 255. Maybe even more! We will see.. That being said, I have to get on this! I need to start NOW. I had applied for the Extreme makeover weight loss edition. I didn't get a call back, but that is ok! My life isn't stopped due to that. It will start now!

Feelings of failing..

 I was looking through the new time line thing facebook is doing. I was looking at another persons profile. Someone who is suppose to be rather close to me. I noticed they didn't have a single picture of me, or my son. I know that it shouldn't matter, but it kind of hurts my little feelers! I should forgive them and move on. I guess I have, Just I should not revisit the past.
 I started having this sinking feeling of failure. I feel like I'm failing at everything- School, bills, house work, life, my weight loss, raising my son, being a good person.. and so on.. Even though I'm really not failing anything. I feel like I'm not putting 100% in on what I should be doing. I feel like I'm not as loving to my son as I should be. I spend so much time correcting him, I feel like a bad mom! I feel like.. I don't know what.. :( I love my son, he's my world. I guess, sometimes I like having me time, and It makes me feel bad. I don't really know why! Maybe because I don't do enough HIM time. I pray God guides me to raising this little boy up the right way. God knows I need that help.  So, I'm posting a prayer...



  Dear Heavenly Father,

  I come to you tonight, with something laying on my heart. I don't really know what it is, but you do. I pray Lord that you take whatever this is, and make it right. Who ever I am suppose to pray for Lord. Guide me in this prayer. Thank you, Thank you for the healing, and the understanding. Lord you know who needs the prayer so I lift them up in your name.. I accept the blessing and healing in their name thank you Jesus..
Amen!

Goals for tomorrow. Feb, 1st

 So, as we are going into the second month of the year. I want to reflect on the first month. I'm highly disappointed in myself. I'm not happy with the fact it has taken me this long to finally get myself together. I gave myself till February 1st to get myself together. Tomorrow is February first and I have go to get myself together!!

Very odd day..

So today was odd. I didn't sleep at all the night before last. So, I was up till about 8 pm yesterday (this being 3am the next day).. I slept for a good 6 hours, now I'm wide awake.. During the day was good.. My mother in law came by, I seen my sister and brother in law and my sweet lil niecey poo! I changed her poo diaper! She's a cutie. They grow so fast. She is almost out of newborn diapers. It reminds me of my baby being, a baby! He's still my baby but.. he is almost 40 lbs LOL. Speaking of babies. That would be a main goal for losing my weight. I was diagnosed with PCOS middle to late of last year (2011). For any of you who may not know what it is, it's Poly Cystic ovarian syndrome. It's basically polyps, in the uterus/ovaries. There is a lot more to it then that. I'll tell you what drew us to that conclusion and the testing for it.

 I accomplished tons today. I'm very proud of myself. I'm not completely done yet though! Boo! I'm in need of a cup of coffee and energy. So, today I cleaned everything. Mopped all the floors, vacuumed, wiped down, disinfected, shined, polished, and just complete top to bottom clean.  I didn't eat the best today, but I did write everything down. I am going to make a page, and post about my daily eating.. When I ate it,how I ate it.. One thing that completely confuses me with people are when they post something saying they ate 5oz weighed. Well I'm learning to weigh stuff. Besides myself! I'm drinking my water, and I'm learning to learn again! I have school work that needs to get done tonight, and other stuff due tomorrow. In the mean time, I'm drinking my alka seltzer! :)

Learning this thing!

 Ok so first order of business.. Learn how to use this site. For any of you blogg nerds, help me become a blogg nerd! I'm not exactly sure how to use this site! I want to use it to the extent I can! Thank you! :)

January? 2012? Already??

  Where did time go? Only yesterday was I worried about boys. Today I'm worried about my boy, my 3 year old. He's constantly doing something. Crawling over,under,around or on. I've learned quickly that keeping up with him, is kind of like keeping a piece of ice from melting in 100 degree weather.. It's not going to happen. My son, who keeps me busy and anyone else around him busy, has been one of my biggest supporters. He constantly reminds me that I can't do something because of my weight. I reply, with a simple your right son.